Note to Self: Stop Being a Loser

Every human being is aware, on some level, of how utterly shite they are. All of us know, to some extent, what our flaws are. We are not perfect. By virtue of being human, we fall short, and for all of our five senses, we can be staggeringly blind, deaf, and senseless to what’s going on around us and within us. We know this. Yet, there must be a limit to how blind we are to our own shortcomings.

Some people see their flaws and their mistakes and wallow in their inferiority. They are forever convinced that they will never rise above their “handicaps.” Excuses like “I’m not smart enough,” or “I don’t have the time,” and even, “I’m too poor,” serve as adequate reasons for what hinders them from going beyond their limitations. And for some of us, these excuses are enough. For some of us, these are reasons enough for us to stay within the confines of our comfort zones. For some of us, we are content in this pit of mediocrity. We are content to stay where we are.

Not me. Not anymore.

What now shall I do? Confronted with my own handicaps (“I’m mentally ill,” and “I’m weak,”) do I use these as valid excuses to allow myself to be content with what I’ve done with my life? Because damn everything, but I am smart, I do have the time, and I do have the necessary financial resources to go above and beyond the little square box that I’ve laid comfortably in. The excuses which work so well for everyone else do not apply to me. I have the resources to climb out of my own pit of mediocrity and complacency. In fact, were I inclined to stop thinking it were impossible, I’m quite sure that a stairway had already been paved in cement, just waiting for me to ascend it, built there by the blood and sweat and tears of my parents, my grandparents, even my ancestors, who made sure to work hard so that could have it easier than they did.

It’s time I stop making excuses for myself. It’s time I start doing everything I set out to do. It’s time I stop being such a sorry little loser.

I have dreams and I want to pursue them. I have goals and I want to reach them. I have everything I could possibly need — a loving family, support from friends and loved ones, time, (relative) financial security. What a fool I have been to have allowed something as little as my own insecurities to hinder myself from letting go and just doing what I want and have and need to do.

Screw you, self. You’re not stopping me.

2 Comments

  1. Hi Ren. You’re not alone. Thanks for giving voice to your struggles, which in turn, gives voice to those who cannot articulate their own. 😊 -Ate Kimy here. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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