Woman, Do Not Make Yourself Less

Dear Woman,

Look at you, you beautiful creature. Made from the rib of man, made by God to cleave to man, you are all soft insides and secret smiles and loud laughter. You are skin and bones and flesh. You are flawed and scarred. You are so brave, so beautiful. You were made that way, Woman. You were born beautiful, born with softness, born skin and bones and flesh, born flawed, and scarred. You beautiful, coveted creature, I beg you: do not make yourself less. You are made for more.
The world will tell you to make yourself easy. Live a little, they say. Get experience! They tell you it is a Woman’s right to be adored by her lover, to be lavished with beautiful clothes. What they really say is this: soil yourself. Dirty yourself, so that you are easier for lesser men. They ask you to give yourself away. Woman, a flower only has too many petals. Do not portion your heart so thinly. You blooming rose, your petals are best kept intact.
I have several things I wish to say to you, because I am a woman, too. From one woman to another, I hope you listen. I hope you learn to see yourself the way God sees you, the way you should see yourself.
  1. Do not be afraid that you are beautiful. Be secure. 
Woman, do not be afraid of your own beauty. Men will covet you, Woman. They will see your softness and your loveliness and they will want. They will want you. Inevitably, you will have to say no. You are meant for one man at a time and one man only. Don’t be afraid to say no. Do not make yourself less! They say your standards are too high? No. Your standards ARE NOT too high. You must seek a man who will cultivate you. You must ask for a man who can make you grow. Most men will only seek you for your harvest— beware.
You do not ask for too much. Your standards are not high. A prized fruit does not hang low, near the ground. The best ones are often corralled, wrapped, and grow near the topmost branches. Woman, if a man will not work to pick you, then that man is not for you. Don’t be insecure that you are more. Don’t be afraid, ashamed, of your own beauty. Be secure in your womanhood, secure that what and who you are contains a certain kind of beauty.
  1. True beauty is in humility.
It is not what you wear and what you put inside or outside of yourself that makes you beautiful. Woman, you should know this by now. Your beauty does not depend on clothes or makeup. Your beauty lies in the way your heart can love another, in the way your hands work for your family, in how you care for others above yourself. Your beauty lies in your humility, Woman. And true humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. Do not make yourself less by thinking you are not enough. You are.


  1. God is the source of your beauty, and He makes you beautiful in time.
Hold your horses, you who cannot wait. You who yearn and yearn and yearn– God is not finished with you, yet. Do not be a blossom who falls to the ground before it can bloom. You must wait patiently as God opens your petals, you must wait until you are in full bloom. God works on us daily, pruning, cutting, molding us to bloom the way He wants us to bloom. You must be patient in this often painful process. You must learn to take the pain, take the suffering, and count it as joy. God is cultivating you, Woman.
  1. Wait.
Here are the things I consider that you must be in order to be ready: you must be secure in yourself, you must find beauty in true humility, and you MUST rely on God to make you blossom. Only then can you think to give yourself to another, only then can you begin to look for a man. And when I say this, I mean that you look for a husband, a man who knows how to replant you. Look for a man who can carefully, gently, snip you from the tree of your family, and replant you in fertile soil. Look for a husband who can cultivate you, Daughter of Eve, look for an Adam who knows how to, and who is willing to.
And lastly:
  1. Love God, not Money.
We see so many of us who only marry for money, who seek only what material possessions their husbands can give them rather than what they can give to the relationship. Woman, I caution you: if you love money, you are destined for a road of misery. Money cannot buy anything that will last. And once your husband or lover grows tired of you, or once your beauty fades, what then? Money is the root of all kinds of evil.
I think the ugliest women are the greediest ones, those who only marry for money. Love God, seek Him and His righteousness, and surely He will bless your household. You will find joy everlasting, and goodness and mercy will follow you and your household all the days of your life.

Dear Woman, I pray that you heed my words and consider them carefully. I pray that you listen. Do not make yourself less, Daughter of Eve. You are made for so much more.

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31:10-31

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